by Rachel | Motherhood
The longest shortest time, indeed. When I think back to the end of May when Mia was born, it seems like just yesterday; this summer flew by in the blink of an eye. But some days felt absolutely interminable, especially at the beginning when I was just getting the hang of caring for a newborn and a toddler at the same time.
But I knew from previous experience how precious and fleeting this time is, so I tried hard to soak it all up — I think I took more pictures in these last three months than I have my entire life. I’m already getting nostalgic about this summer, spent at home with my sweet babies and knee deep in diapers.
Although I was technically on maternity leave, I didn’t hang up my music therapist/teacher/business owner hats all together: I taught two early childhood classes, a few lessons here and there, didn’t miss a week of producing my podcast (even the week Mia was born!)…oh, and my business partner and I renovated a new music therapy and teaching facility.
It was a busy summer that required a lot of juggling, but honestly I think it helped keep the baby blues away. I didn’t feel like I lost track of who I was aside from a mom the way I did when Parker was born, which was a huge relief. I have to say that it has been a much smoother ride the second time around.
I’m hoping that the ride continues to be just as smooth as I dive back into full-time work a week from today. I’ll write more about my schedule and how work days will look later, but right now I’m going to get back to savoring what is left of my maternity leave. The longest shortest week ever, to be sure.
by Rachel | Motherhood
This is the 3rd consecutive year I’ve celebrated World Breastfeeding Week by — wait for it — breastfeeding. We’ve attended the annual World Breastfeeding Week Zoo Walk, hosted by the West Central Illinois Breastfeeding Taskforce, each year since 2012, when I started providing musical entertainment during the event.
In 2013, I was just a couple months in to motherhood and still working to get the hang of nursing Parker. He was a huge supporter of breastfeeding from the start, as you can see ;)
In 2014, he was down to nursing just in the morning and at bedtime, but neither of us were quite ready to give it up altogether. (He self-weaned a little over a month later, literally on the day I found out I was pregnant.)
And this year, I’m right back at the beginning with Mia, who is just 10 weeks old. Nursing her has been so much easier than it was with Parker, which I attribute to knowing what I’m doing this time around and feeling much more confident.
We always have a great time getting together with friends I’ve met through the mom & baby group at St. John’s Hospital, and this year was especially fun now that Parker is old enough to really enjoy the zoo.
I’m hoping that I can celebrate this week next year by continuing to breastfeed at least until then, if not longer. As exhausting and consuming as it can be at times, there is nothing better than having this girl snuggled up to me.
by Rachel | Motherhood
A few weeks before Parker was born, the mother of one of my students gave me a printout of a beautiful poem she had received when she was pregnant for the first time. It hung on our fridge right up until we moved a few months ago, and I’ve been meaning to share it here for a long time.
A Child’s Angel
Author Unknown
Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.
So one day he asked God:
“They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,
but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?”
“Among the many angels, I chose one for you.
She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.”
“But tell me, here in Heaven, I don’t do anything else but sing and smile,
that’s enough for me to be happy.”
“Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day.
And you will feel your angel’s love and be happy.”
“And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me
if I don’t know the language that men talk?”
“Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear,
and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.”
“And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?”
“Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.”
“I’ve heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?”
“Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.”
“But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.”
“Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you
to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.”
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth
could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly:
“Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name.”
“Your angel’s name is of no importance, you will call your angel…Mommy.”
by Rachel | Motherhood
The following is a guest post by Gretchen Chardos Benner, MSW, MT-BC. Gretchen is the owner of Piedmont Music Therapy, whose mission is to engage, empower and accompany individuals to reach their goals grounded in the frameworks of music therapy and social work.
My children remind me of the best ways to get a job done while having fun and learning a lot in the process. Let’s take my recent guitar project as an example. Having my private practice’s office within my home grants opportunities for my children to learn more about the field of music therapy. Replacing the six strings on my work guitar was a long overdue task.
My children’s precious involvement made the routine task more of an accomplishment when it was restrung and tuned. My son (17 months) and daughter (3 1/2 years) transformed a work project into a time of bonding. We counted the strings, pegs and our fingers. We talked about what Mommy does with music therapy at a school or hospital and other children I teach through private music lessons. We compared strings with my primary instrument, the viola, and wove them in with some of their favorite requests, Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes, Wheels On The Bus and family creations about our dog.
As my children grow and develop, their curiosities and personalities help remind me to include them more often with kid-friendly projects related to work. They enjoy learning and exploring newly purchased instruments, improvising or working through compositions for clients. We have more time spent with each other while identifying colors, sharing, and being respectful with others’ properties.
Music therapy is the field that I initially joined as a student in 2003 at Duquesne University. A year later my path crossed with my future husband because of our neighboring music instrument storage lockers and experiences through Spiritan Campus Ministries. With our current musical interests and pursuits, there is often music in our home.
I’m enthused that our children have been able to learn about my work by joining in the fun of counting inventory such as egg shakers or sorting visual aides. Our children have opportunities to learn about buzzing their lips to play their “trumpets” (recorders and harmonicas), preparing posters with song lyrics for active music engagement interventions or organizing the materials used for my business.
I am grateful for my children’s curiosities and eagerness to join the fun of preparing items for work and packing instruments for group contracts. They joyfully remind me to be proud to be their working momma.
Are you a music therapist with a “mama moment” to share? If so, please submit your story, along with a photo and short bio, via email.
by Rachel | Motherhood
My son Parker has been attending my early childhood music classes since he was just six months old, which I’ve written about here before. Since I’ve always been the teacher, either my mom or my husband has been with him during class. But this month, I’ve had the opportunity to be “the parent” while someone else teaches.
Every Tuesday, Parker attends my baby music class with my mom, since I’m the teacher. But immediately following, my colleague Katey Kratz leads the toddler music class. I thought it’d be fun to experience the flip side, so Parker and I stick around and join in the fun. And it is FUN. Also, a full-body workout keeping up with him.
Being the parent in your child’s music class brings on a whole slew of considerations that don’t cross your mind when you’re the teacher. Here are just a few of the thoughts that run through my brain every week:
- Is the teacher annoyed that my child keeps take instruments from her bag?
- Should I leave the room with Parker if he starts fussing?
- Does that mom mind that Parker just practically sat down in her lap?
- Am I singing too loudly?
- Are we taking away from the other families’ experience?
- Do I smell as sweaty as I feel?
You’d think that after MANY years of teaching early childhood music classes, I wouldn’t have so many worries — but being the parent is a whole different ballgame. The best I can do is remind myself that when I’m teaching, sticky fingered instruments, naptime tantrums, and wandering kiddos (as long as their parents are keeping tabs) don’t phase me one bit.
My #1 priority is for parents and children to have meaningful interactions through music. And if that means they are sitting while we are dancing, moo-ing while we are baa-ing, or shaking while we are ringing, by all means, carry on. So that’s what Parker and I do every Tuesday; we carry on…and it is my favorite part of the week.
by Rachel | Motherhood
The following is a guest post by Jennifer Gossett, MT-BC, NICU MT. Jennifer is a Board-Certified Music Therapist based in Charleston, SC. She ventured into the field of music therapy after a 15-year career as a band director in public and private schools, and opened her private practice, Noteworthy Music Therapy, in 2012. Jennifer and her husband, Kevin, are parents of two sons, ages 12 and 10, each of whom has both special needs and special talents.
My sons were born in 2001 and 2004, and both were preemies. My youngest weighed 700 grams at birth, and the Beanie Baby that nurses placed in the isolette with him was as big as he was. Thankfully, our city has a Level 3 nursery for these tiny, fragile babies, so our boys had access to wonderful care and best technology available at the time. Between the two boys, we spent 18 weeks making daily visits to the NICU, rejoicing on the good days and crying on the bad ones, feeling helpless to do much of anything besides wait and pray.
Blessedly, both boys survived their early starts, and for the most part they have thrived and blossomed. Today, they’re tweens who love music, video games, Pokemon and Legos. Like so many of these former preemies, they’ve had bumps in the road, developmentally speaking: one has a diagnosis on the mild end of the autism spectrum, and the other has the hyperactive/impulsive type of ADHD and a moderate hearing loss. So, we’ve spent many an hour visiting pediatric specialists, speech pathologists, occupational therapists, etc., and being immersed in the special needs world.
Becoming a Mom changes any woman’s life, but I could never have guessed in 2001 how drastically my life would change in the years to come. I had been a music teacher before I was a parent; my training was in how to play the trumpet, how to conduct a concert band, how to assemble a bassoon or correctly grip a pair of drumsticks. I was NOT prepared to negotiate a world in which I would watch my child breathe on a ventilator, bring him home on oxygen, or advocate for his education year after year in IEP meetings.
But as I grew and learned, I became drawn to the world of these special children and their families, and looked for a way in so that I could work with those children as I saw so many amazing professionals do for my own boys. It was then that I discovered my calling as a music therapist, and went back to college at the seasoned age of 38 to begin my new training.
Fast forward to the Fall of 2013: I’ve completed the training, passed the board exam, and I’m a board-certified music therapist. I’m doing exactly what I set out to do—using music to connect with and enhance the quality of life of children with autism, Down Syndrome and other special needs. It was a dream come true, but something was missing. I felt that “pull” again, realizing there was something else I needed to pursue—an advanced, specialized training in music therapy practices for NICU babies.
I headed to Florida, to the only site in the country that provides this level of training, for an intense few days of hands-on experience using MT strategies with these fragile infants. One other MT-BC was in the program with me, so we agreed to take turns holding the babies and going through the specific music therapy protocol. She took the first turn, which meant the next baby would be mine.
He was very small, very squirmy, and very easily overstimulated. I held him as I’d been taught, began to hum…and realized tears were trickling down my cheeks. I was shocked, not realizing that the memories would come flooding back like that after nearly 10 years since I’d last entered a NICU. Call it PTSD, call it a trip down memory lane, call it what you will, but for me it was a powerful Mama Moment — realizing that my life-changing experiences as NICU Mom had now come full circle to my career in MT.
Once I dried the tears and got through that first encounter and those moments of doubt, I knew I’d come to the right place and was doing what I was meant to do—to make a difference in the lives of children and families who face the same challenges that I’ve faced, and to use the awesome, powerful gift of music to do that. Or as a favorite quote says: “After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” (Aldous Huxley)
Are you a music therapist with a “mama moment” to share? If so, please submit your story, along with a photo and short bio, via email.
