by Rachel | Motherhood
From birth day to 1st birthday, Parker and I spent much of his first year together in that very position. I can’t even imagine the number of hours devoted to breastfeeding over these past twelve months, but I will treasure them always.
I know how many moms struggle with breastfeeding, especially those who have to pump several times a day, so I consider myself very lucky that it worked out so well for us. And I definitely don’t take it for granted, because I know that I might not be so lucky the next time around.
In all honesty, I’m really struggling with weaning. Parker does fine with whole cow’s milk, but it is very apparent that he is not ready to be done nursing. We are down to once a day, right after he wakes up, and then on Friday I leave for my first-ever overnight trip without him. All along I’ve planned to wean in time for this trip, because I don’t want to have to worry about pumping for the 4 days I’m away. Also, I figured having this time apart would help him get used to not nursing anymore.
But in the back of my head, I keep questioning this decision and wondering if I’m rushing it. Maybe we would both be happier if we continued…or maybe I’m just trying to delay the inevitable. Motherhood seems to be full of questions without definitive answers, and I feel like I’m just making them up as I go along.
We’ll see how the next few days go, and I’m going to take my pump with me to California just in case. But whether this week is the end or we keep going a little longer, I’m thrilled that we were able to make it to my goal of one year.
by Rachel | Motherhood
This year, for the first time ever, I scheduled a break halfway through my afternoon/evening of work. The picture above illustrates how I’ve spent those 15 minutes every day since September — up until today. This week, my trusty Medela pump is going into storage until my next trip down baby lane.
Since Parker will be a year old in just a few weeks, we’re beginning the transition from breastmilk to whole cow’s milk. The bottle he gets while I’m working is the first step in the process, and I’ll gradually be replacing feedings up until his birthday.
I have been extremely lucky to spend so much time with my son during the first year of his life, which has definitely contributed to our success in breastfeeding. I know that lots of mamas pump multiple times a day at work, and I have an insane amount of respect for them; just once per workday (and then again before I went to bed) was enough for me.
There are only two weeks left in my spring session, which means I have ten 15-minute breaks to fill up now that I’m no longer pumping. Oh, the possibilities! I know many of you can relate to the sacredness of “me” time, even in the shortest of intervals :)
For more mama moments and Parker updates (including an abundance of adorable photos and videos), check out my family blog, www.therambachs.com.
by Rachel | Motherhood
I recently participated in a discussion with other music therapist moms about songs we’ve sung to our babies, and we compiled a pretty impressive list. I did contribute to it by sharing Parker’s original favorite song, but I neglected to include the one that goes like this:
Parker rockin’ in the house tonight
Everybody just have a good time
His smile makes you feel so fine
Everybody just have a good time
Why yes, I did rewrite the lyrics to LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” and sing it to my baby. We even have motions (including fist pumps) that go along with it.
I work with kids almost every single day, so in order to have a little variety from the usual children’s musical fare during my downtime, I like to get creative with Parker. I have “lullaby-afied” songs from just about every genre; it’s pretty safe to say that my child will grow up with an eclectic taste in music.
Don’t get me wrong — all the classic nursery rhyme tunes are a regular part of our repertoire — but it’s fun to supplement with songs that will broaden Parker’s musical horizons. LMFAO may be at the (extremely) low end of the sophistication scale, but the “Parker Rock Anthem” remains a favorite nevertheless.
by Rachel | Motherhood
I’ve held a sleeping baby in my arms every day for the last 7.5 months, usually multiple times per day. I’ve taken dozens of pictures like these: of his perfect little lips, his chubby little fingers hanging on to my shirt. Sometimes I try to transfer him to his crib, but other times, I just stay put and let him sleep on me.
Every day, the thought crosses my mind that I’m one day closer to a time when I won’t hold him like this anymore, and that makes me really sad.
I know we have a lot to look forward to as Parker gets older, but I don’t want to forget any of these precious moments. They are far and away the best moments of every day.
by Rachel | Motherhood
Sometimes the fact that I’m a parent sneaks up on me. I had one of those moments tonight, actually: Zach has been playing in a soccer tournament all evening, so I had a few hours to hang out by myself after Parker went to bed. I watched a movie in our bedroom and caught up on some blogs on the computer, which is how I spent many evenings before the baby was born. (Nowadays most post-bedtime hours are spent catching up on laundry and doing the work I didn’t have time to complete during the day.)
When I came out of the bedroom to refill my water bottle, the pile of toys in the living room caught my eye. It took me by surprise at first — maybe because those particular toys are new and I’m not used to seeing them. But this wave of holy crap, I have a kid washed over me, just like it had on Christmas Eve as I was wrapping gifts and wrote “Love, Mommy & Daddy” on Parker’s gift tags.
I’ve experienced the same feeling at the grocery store, when I’m loading my stuff onto the conveyer belt and pick up a pack of wipes from my cart. And when I’m talking to a student’s mom, who asks how the baby is doing. The list goes on…which is surprising considering I’ve had almost seven months to get used to this role. After all, it consumes most of my waking (and “should be sleeping”) hours.
I always thought that once I became a mom, I would all of the sudden feel more grown up or have life all figured out. But in all honesty, that hasn’t happened; in fact, the opposite is true. Now that I have a baby, I question all of my decisions and wonder if I’m doing the right thing for him and our family.
But maybe that’s normal. Just like Parker is figuring out the world as a new human, I’m doing the same as a new mom. Everything is different with a child, whether he is physically with me or not, and sometimes my brain has to process that (again and again).
Another sneaky parenting moment I experience often? When I’m hit with the fact that holy crap, this beautiful creature is all mine and I get to keep him. I really like when that happens.
by Rachel | Motherhood
This weekend, Parker will turn 6 months old. And it kind of blows my mind to think about the fact that I have provided every last drop of nourishment for his entire life thus far. I knew before Parker was born that I wanted to try breastfeeding, but I had no idea how much I would enjoy it and how important it would become to me.
I also had no idea what a huge commitment it would be, and that there would be bumps along the road. I was extremely lucky that Parker latched on right away and the first few days went so smoothly, but I’ve dealt with quite a few plugged ducts (even as recently as this week) and supply issues before I realized I was exercising too much and not eating enough. Those were easy fixes, to say the least!
Being a nursing mom is a full-time job, or at least it feels that way at times. I feed Parker every 2-3 hours throughout the day, and on top of that I pump at least twice so that he has bottles when I’m working. As soon as I finish work at night, we do bath time and then I nurse Parker to sleep, which can take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour.
And I’ve excused myself from parties, family gatherings, and dinners on countless occasions — not because I’m opposed to nursing in front of other people, but because Parker is SUCH a distracted eater. If there are other people around, a TV or music playing, or even bright lights on, I can forget about a successful feeding.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way; I never take for granted the fact that I’ve been able to breastfeed this long. I’ve been a little reluctant to start solid foods just because breastfeeding is so convenient (no preparation or cleanup involved!), but I’m pretty sure Parker will love exploring new foods. Not to mention that it will be super cute, messes and all.
The older Parker gets, the more busy and wiggly he becomes. Our daytime nursing sessions are getting shorter and shorter, but I look forward to cuddling him at night and nursing him to sleep. I know I’m going to miss it so much when it’s all over, and I can only hope to make it at least another six months.
